Week 13 & 14

Siem Reap – Ho Chi Minh City – Dalat

Well I finally left Thailand. At risk of sounding like a spoiled little brat, I’m kind of relieved. I loved it so much, but it was definitely my time to go. I’m sitting in a coffee shop in Dalat writing this, having spent the day catching up on life admin and gently reminding myself I’m not a shit friend because I have been so bad at replying. I’m nursing a headache from an evening of margaritas and techno music which I actually really enjoyed. Feeling like an actual raisin because I haven’t drank any water today but feeling grateful for being in Vietnam! 

Interestingly I was quite excited for my night bus from Surat Thani to Bangkok. I guess it kind of felt like real backpacker vibes, and I was ready to get back into that. Safe to say that will be the last time I’ll be excited for a night bus, my vision of staring out the window into the setting sun while laying back on a bed for one was quickly overtaken by an upright chair with no leg room and 10 hours of staring out the window with the rain dripping on my head through the leaking window. Also, 10 hours is far too much thinking time, even for an introvert like me. I came off that bus an anxious quivering mess. I did try to sleep, and there may have been an hour or two where I dozed, but all in all, I was awake, wide awake. Wide awake with my thoughts. I think maybe because I hadn’t been on my own for a couple of weeks, I’d almost felt like I had a lot to catch up on with myself. As always, I probably took that too far, but what’s new?! Anyway, one of the joys of travelling solo is strengthening the ability to self-soothe, and that’s a small win. Actually, that’s a really big win. I am fucking brilliant. We had an hour stop over at this random market on the side of the road, and everyone was getting a bit agitated because we’d been told it was going to be twenty minutes. A tepid chicken sandwich and about 35 cigarettes later we were back on the road. I arrived in Bangkok at about 4:45am to absolute carnage in the streets. I completely forgot Songkran was still being celebrated, and the streets were filled with people wrecked and STILL spraying each other with water guns. I managed to make it the whole 15 minute walk to my hostel completely unscathed and dry as a bone, I was feeling quite chuffed with myself. I wasn’t really in the mood to be spritzed to be honest, I was sweaty, shattered, dehydrated and sad. Half joking, I wasn’t really sad, but I was feeling a little emotionally exhausted with myself. I love how I can tire myself out with my own thoughts, surely that’s a bit of a skill? Anyway, I’d booked myself a private room at The Cube hostel which was possibly the best decision I’d made in weeks so I went straight to bed to try and catch up on some sleep.

The next morning, I’d agreed to go to breakfast with someone I’d met I can’t remember where, but somewhere in Thailand, her name was Ginger and she was LUSH. I did wake up and question why I’d agreed to that, because I was swollen with tiredness, but I am very glad I did because it was a lush breakfast with her and her friend, Tori, who was phenomenal. She was 37, had quit her job in finance in London and had decided to just pack up her life and travel. Her next move was to go and work in a surf shop in Gili T because why the fuck not. She also made me feel so much better about how I choose to spend my money when she explained that she spent £500 on a hotel room for one night at Marina Bay Sands in Singapore because she worked hard to save and felt she deserved it. She absolutely did. It also took the three of us about 15 minutes before we were well into a conversation about sexism. A great start to the morning. I was in desperate need of sorting my life out a little bit, so it was back to Central Mall to get myself a new cleanser and face sun cream. I managed to make it out of the mall with no more damage done to my Monzo and only the necessities (?) purchased. Some more great news is that the Apple store managed to fix my laptop for me. I know you were all really stressed out about this, how was I going to blog?! You all asked me. Well guys, it’s all GOOD, because I am currently tip tapping away on said laptop. Turns out I hadn’t updated the software in years and I was still living in the stone age. Riveting stuff. I took it into the shop at about 5pm, and then was told I had to wait 2 hours for them to fix it which I was feeling a little bit put out by (ridiculously). I needn’t have been because I sat in Starbucks with tea and facetimed Mabel for an hour and a half and it was just completely glorious. I’ll never take for granted how lucky I am to have her, not sure what’s happened but it suddenly dawned on me that as much as she’ll always be my little sister, she’s a full grown adult and the advice she gives me is unparalleled. We were laughing and feeling quite moved by the fact that I am now 28 and she’ll be 27… how the fuck has that happened?! I’m still not sure we have a fucking clue what we’re doing, but does anyone? I have a lump in my throat writing this, I just love her so much it kind of pains me? Anyway, enough of that.I treated myself to a tuk tuk home because I was in a wonderful mood and had been on about 12 buses that day. “Straight to Mcdonalds Sir!!!!” I told the driver. No seriously, well I didn’t say Sir. I wanted to leave Thailand with a bang, so I sat on my own in Mcdonalds and rammed a Big Mac down my throat. It was everything I’d hoped for and more. The BBQ sauce even had chilli in it, so I guess I was tasting Thailand still. It was off to bed for me as I was flying to Siem Reap the next day.

The journey to Siem Reap was maybe the easiest journey so far. One of those days where everything kind of fell into place. I was through security and checked in super fast, got put in a seat with extra leg room and had cleverly decided to get an E-visa for Cambodia instead of one on arrival so was through immigration in 5 minutes. Those IDIOTS getting one on arrival!!!!! I was feeling quite smug as my backpack turned up on the carousel almost immediately and was met by my tuk tuk driver outside (organised for free by my hostel!!!!!) arrivals. I was at Bokre Angor Hostel by about 3pm and it was bloody lush. I had lunch there and tried my first Chicken Amok, which is a famous Cambodian dish. Well Fish Amok is more typical actually, but I wasn’t feeling fish then. Amok is just a way of steaming the protein in a banana leaf, and it was amazing. I then wandered into the sweltering heat (38 degrees) in search of a sim card. Found one, forgot my passport so had to trudge back and forth, which wasn’t really a vibe. I then went on a search for a pedicure because my feet were truly in disarray. I’d found ‘Relax Spa’ and settled on this, little did I know that they didn’t remove gel nails but the woman was adamant she could file them off, so two and a half hours and three bleeding toes later, she’d made my  feet look like they belonged to a human, which is enough for me when you have feet like mine. I then wandered home for an early night because I was up at 3:50am for the sunrise Angkor Wat tour.

My alarm going off at 3:50am was kind of what I imagine being in hell to feel like. I was shuffled onto a bus out of the 1920’s and taken to the ticket office to collect our Angkor Wat passes. I’d already bought mine online, which was unnecessary but I was in a flap the night before about queuing for ages. It costs $37 for a day pass to the Angkor Wat complex which was actually more expensive than I’d thought, but then again not really because it’s a UNESCO world heritage site and it’s fucking Angkor Wat. I think backpacking has made me stingier, I can’t wait to annoy everyone at home and repeatedly tell them that when I was in Cambodia I paid £1.50 for a beer and has beer always been this expensive in London??????? We made it to the complex at about 5:30am after some faffing about in the bus picking people up on route, and listen, I don’t want to say I was underwhelmed by watching the sunrise at Angkor Wat, but I think I was underwhelmed by watching the sunrise at Angkor Wat. It’s obviously STUNNING, don’t get me wrong, but I guess I was kind of expecting the rays of sun to be beaming through the gaps between the towers of the temples. Alas, it wasn’t quite like this, but still very special. I would also like to clarify that everybody else on the tour group also felt a little underwhelmed so I’m not being an ungrateful bitch I promise. Our tour was led by this lovely guy who went by ‘Ca’ and he really did go into so much detail throughout the morning, arguably too much at points, like when we were standing in the sweltering 38 degree midday sun, shade-less, dripping in sweat, begging him with our eyes to wrap it up. He never did wrap it up, and fair play to him because he was an amazing tour guide and we learnt a lot. We were left to our own devices for about 20 minutes to watch the sunrise at the front of the complex, which suited me and definitely the rest of the group because it was far too early to socialise. Ca had offered to take some pictures of us, you can see mine below, all completely blurred 🙂 God love him. Angkor Wat was originally built as a Hindu temple, but is now considered both Hindu and Buddhist. Interestingly Ca was telling us a fair bit about Cambodian history throughout, which was obviously tragic considering the suffering Cambodia has suffered throughout the years, particularly under the Pol Pot regime, which ended only 50ish years ago. I had no idea that so much of Thai culture is influenced by Cambodia, and Ca was quite adamant that people don’t know the true and full history of Cambodia and its influence in South East Asia. After watching the sunrise and getting some interesting photos taken, Ca took us around various temples. I had a very deep conversation with a German guy called Cyril about life and death, which I actually didn’t instigate and this was all on him so LEAVE IT. He asked, “Is death separate from life or is it all the same thing?” On reflection, far too early for a conversation like that. I’m annoyed at myself for not writing more of what he told us down, I think because I was so tired (I hate early mornings xx) I wasn’t really absorbing the information properly. But, some of the standout moments were seeing the Bayon Temple which was the only temple to be built solely for Buddhism in Angkor, and also Ta Prohm or the ‘Tomb Raider’ Temple, which was as it says on the tin, the temple Angelina Jolies’ Tomb Raider film was shot in. It was pretty stunning. Wish I’d got a picture of me by the massive tree GOD DAMMIT. I’ve really got to get better at asking people to take pictures of me since I’m doing this alone. The tour finished here at about 1pm, we were all crispy as fuck from the sun and it was time to chill before my retreat. 

So the next day it was time for my retreat at Harihayala. What a special 6 days, truly. I was definitely nervous, I always am when it comes to meeting lots of new people, but also I knew I was going to be around people who were all on the same kind of vibe so I wasn’t going to be having to push myself too much. I don’t think I’ll go into a day to day run down of the week, not sure I’ve got it in me, but the retreat is 6 days of yoga and meditation with the intention of tuning into yourself basically. Tune in I DID. No phones, no clocks, no coffee, a total detox. Every day the gong (lol) was banged? Rang? What does one do with a gong? Anyway, we were woken up at 6am every day and encouraged to just surrender to not knowing what the time is. That definitely took me a hot minute to get used to, the first night I was convinced I wouldn’t hear it in the morning so I hardly slept, but it’s safe to say that was an unnecessary worry because the gong pops OFF. Before every session in the day, they ring the gong and off you go, whether it’s an ecstatic dance, a fire ceremony or creativity workshop. Some of it wasn’t for me, but lots of it really was, and leaning into all that cringey shit just lights me UP. It’s safe to say ecstatic dance was by far one of the best things I’ve ever done, 2 hours, sober, dark room, strobe lights, dancing in whatever way you want/feel was truly so liberating. That was one of my biggest takeaways from the entire week, just wanting to feel more liberated in my body. Trying to be a little less conscious of what others think of me, how I come across or am perceived, or how I look, but just being comfortable in how my body feels and what it wants/needs. Fucking glorious if you ask me. From 7-9 every morning there’s yoga and meditation taught by one of the three different instructors there. Richie was the favourite by far, a 40 year old from Dublin who’s dedicated his life to the “spiritual path” but with an incredible sense of humour. I think that’s my biggest apprehension about going too far into spirituality, it feels like people can really lose their humour. A lovely part of the week was journaling, I do this anyway but sitting on a hammock at 6:30am watching the sun come up and using one of the journal prompts (e.g “What are you grateful for?”) to get into your feelings was pretty special. I was acutely aware of exactly what I was feeling at all times, and it didn’t really feel too overwhelming. I kind of loved being super in sync with myself, and also being around people who were all doing the same thing. I was definitely concerned that I was going to feel a lot of ‘shoulds’ during the retreat, which is definitely something I struggle with in life, the comparison to how everyone else is choosing to live their life, but actually, I felt quite centred. Perhaps it was a slight resistance to the hard core spiritual elements, but I came away in the mindset that I can incorporate this into my life however I want (and I already am), and there’s no right or wrong way. Without sounding like a complete twat, I really am of the belief that meditation can be really powerful, and sitting with yourself in that way is quite profound. But anyway, I don’t really feel the urge to go much more into it, but it was all around a really special experience. I was incredibly emotional saying goodbye to everyone, and having everyone sing happy birthday to me on the morning of the last day was something I won’t forget. That kind of intense introspection and sharing created quite a strong bond between all of us. Even the silence was lush, like being able to just sit in silence around people and not feel any awkwardness or need to fill it was really amazing. I think I’ll leave it there, I don’t want to lose any fans with the spiritual chat!!!!!!!!!!!

So, my birthday. As I said, I spent the morning at the retreat and then left at midday to go and sit in a coffee shop before my flight to Ho Chi Minh. I treated myself to my first coffee in 6 days and it was absolute heaven. I actually didn’t find it hard at all being without coffee, but there are some things I am just not willing to give up, and coffee is one of those. I facetimed Mum and Dad, and just remember feeling really really happy and grateful, which is always a stunning feeling. I also hadn’t listened to music for the week, so was thoroughly enjoying watching the world go by with my music in my ears. I was kind of in my own world and so was a little reluctant when the people next to me started chatting to me, but I’m so glad I engaged because the guy was from Ho Chi Minh and gave me some hot tips. A reminder that when you’re open to a situation, lovely and unexpected things can happen! My flight to Ho Chi Minh was only an hour, and I bumped into two of the women from the retreat at Siem Reap airport and they treated me to a birthday margarita which we all LOVED after a week off da sauce. I arrived in Ho Chi Minh at about 8pm and was at the hotel by about 9pm. My stunningly generous brother had booked me a hotel for a couple of nights as a birthday treat and it was glorious. Spent the evening with Purav drinking wine, eating sushi and all around soaking up being the birthday QUEEN. I quickly fell in love with Ho Chi Minh. I’d heard mixed things but I absolutely loved being in a bustling city with loads of things to do and explore. The next few days consisted of basically eating and drinking with some touristy moments in between. I had my first Banh Mi at ‘Banh Mi Huynh Hoa’ and it was everything I’d imagined and more. Thick crusty bread filled with meat, veg and pate. What more is there in life than basically a snazzy fucking sandwich? Not a lot my friends, not a lot. I’ve decided I want to have one every day, you could say I’m on a Banh Mi tour of Vietnam. So far, I’ve had about 5 with hopefully about 63,000 to go. The first full day in Ho Chi Minh was really one of my favourites of the trip so far, just walking around, stopping to eat, getting coffee, exploring, my favourite way to discover a new place. No agenda kind of vibes. Also, when it hits about 5pm and the light starts to get a little dusky and the temperature drops a bit, life feels GOOD. It’s also worth noting that vaping is legal in Vietnam so I found a vape and everything kind of felt like it aligned again??? Although, it has made me reflect on my nicotine addiction and that’s definitely something I have to address at some point. I nearly punched Purav in the face after about 3 hours of no nicotine which was pretty alarming, probably a huge red flag to be honest but we move, we must, we’re all flawed guys!!!!! I never said I was perfect?! 

I took a solo trip to the War Remnants Museum to educate myself more on the Vietnam War. Fuck me. Harrowing. Admittedly I didn’t know alot about the Vietnam war but after that museum it’s safe to say I won’t forget. The war photography was some of the most powerful images I think I’ve ever seen, so much violence. A country quite literally torn apart and still feeling the effects, I also hadn’t really taken into consideration how recent it was. There was a whole section on Agent Orange (the chemical herbicide used by the US to clear foliage in the war) and it was just harrowing to see that generations are still suffering the effects. What a STAIN (one of many) on humanity. As distressing as it was, I’m really glad I went as not only do I feel it’s important to understand a country’s history, it’s also given me a slightly different perspective of Vietnam. 

On the final evening in Ho Chi Minh we headed to Pub Street and spent the evening drinking beer and playing pool. I kept going on about how good I was at pool and out of the three of us, I was by far the worst. Humbled. No one likes a show off. Finished off at 3am with a Saigon beer and fried rice outside a random Vietnamese restaurant. Gorgeous vibes. 

Next up was Da Lat which was about 8 hours north from Ho Chi Minh and is a quaint hill town with a lot of French influence from colonial times. It kind of feels like a ski town, with some real Alpine vibes. So far it’s been about 27 degrees in the day and at night it’s even felt COLD at a whopping 18 degrees. I can’t lie, it’s been so nice to not be covered in a film of sweat. I hate to moan about the heat guys, I really do. I don’t want to be that person?! But, the respite from the heat has been lovely. It’s worked out really well that I’ve finally got to a cool place and yesterday I lost my only jumper. The first thing I’ve lost so far and possibly my favourite thing, so that’s really lovely and I feel really good about it. After a bit of a slog of a bus journey, Mooka’s Hostel was a treat to arrive at. Run by a woman called Van who is sensational and hosts family dinners every two nights which was really lush. We spent the first day in Da Lat moochin’ and scoochin’ around. Went to Crazy House which is truly beyond random but cool, I think, and is basically just an absolutely bonkers hotel/tourist attraction built in the 90’s by an architect called Dang Viet Nga. I’m really struggling to describe it, maybe it’s the hangover, but I will let the pictures do the talking. That evening was the family dinner, BBQ style. Having spent a few weeks not really feeling like I was backpacking, this was really nice, although actually a little nerve wracking. Met a lovely guy called Bert who we ended up going out with last night and he is an absolute hoot. 

Yesterday we got a scooter and drove over to Tuyen Lam Lake which was absolutely beautiful. 15 minutes outside of the centre and you’re surrounded by the most stunning countryside. I’d really missed being in nature so it was so lovely to sit by the edge of the lake and watch the world go by. I found this cafe in the hills called Happy Hill and it was pretty special, drinking a lemon iced tea and smoking a lil’ joint. I’m such a stoner now guys!!!!! I do wonder how people can smoke weed all the time, I literally feel like a fat giggly sloth every time, good vibes. We then scooted off to a monastery called Truc Lam which is set just north of the river and is the largest Vietnamese Zen monastery. A really wholesome day followed by a not so wholesome evening of too many margaritas and randomly, nos. It’s giving 18 year old Brit abroad and I’m here for it. Today has been a bit of a struggle, but I’ve loved sitting on my own and writing this, it’s felt quite therapeutic. 

Tomorrow I’m flying to Da Nang for a couple of days exploring, and then Hoi An, which I am super excited about. Facetimed Maraid this evening and for the first time in a while I felt fomo, London on a bank holiday is the best. Missing her and home a bit, but in a kind of cosy way. So far Vietnam has been amazing, I do feel like I’ve done a bit of a 180 from the retreat, I’ve gone from a 6 day detox to eating everything in sight and drinking a lot, but hey, I’m just a 28 (WTF) year old girly living her best life.

As I write this, I’m snacking on a garlic and cheese ‘Banh Mi’ which it absolutely isn’t, it’s just cheesy garlic bread, and that’s OK. On that note, I think I’ll leave it there.

Until next time,

Lily xx